You’re a woman in your 40s or 50s who’s tired of feeling tired who knows something’s got to change.
You wish you had more energy (and time) for the things that really matter to you. And you wonder if it’s perimenopause or menopause that has you feeling this way.
You do a good job of keeping the ‘show on the road’ and to everyone else, it looks like you have your sh*t together all the time. And you do for the most part, except when you don’t. And then it’s tough inside your own head and a mean, internal critic will remind you of how you could do more. But you’re just so exhausted by the end of the day.
And it’s hard to get the balance right, between work, family and everyday life, never mind to find time for yourself.
And you’re tired of your own broken promises that there will be time next week, after this sales quarter, on the school holidays, or someday… And you’re desperate to find time and balance, before it’s too late.
I know this place of headwreck well — and I know a way out of it too! I’m Ashleigh, a Hormone Health and Life coach who works with women (like you) who are tired of being tired and fed up waiting for ‘someday’.
I help you make simple changes to your everyday habits (and internal dialogue) so that you can close off each day with a sense of contentment and ease, knowing that your values turned up in your everyday / behaviours in simple, ordinary ways. By the way, we find lots of simple solutions for your hormones too!
These four words changed my life over 18 years ago.
“What do you want?”
I was in senior management in the pharmaceutical industry, working long hours and earning a significant sum of money. As you can imagine, work was always busy and I was getting lots done. But the more that I did, the more I was given to do. Sure, the money was great but I’d have swapped some of it for time.
I was happily married, had a 3-year-old daughter, regular holidays and no major troubles compared to some. Life, for the most part, was pretty okay and I felt like I should have been happy or even better, content. On the outside, everything looked good and it was, to a certain extent. But on the inside, I was always exhausted, regularly close to overwhelm and running on almost empty. And my mean internal critic was telling me I shouldn’t complain because really, it wasn’t that bad. But it felt pretty bad to me.
I was tired, a deep down sort of tired – the sort that sleep would never fix.
Supplements, tonics, and several frustratingly ‘normal’ blood tests later, I still didn’t know what was wrong. But because I was the responsible type, I kept the show on the road and no one knew how tough it was, how alone I felt, and how deep discontent had become my constant companion. Multiple miscarriages later added heartache to the exhaustion (I found out afterwards I was in early menopause) and by then, my ‘hope factor’ was pretty low.
That constant questioning discontent…
I heard this unrelenting whisper that ‘there must be something more,’ which left me questioning my values and the people and tasks that were getting most of my time. No matter how hard I tried, I could never keep up – with the standards I had for myself or the ever increasing To Do list I thought would help me achieve more.
There was never enough time for the stuff that really mattered. Because someone else’s ‘urgent’ needed my focus, energy, and attention NOW, while my own ‘important’ had to wait until someday.
What if I left it too late and someday never came?
A wise man asked me those four words and I finally knew:
What did I want?
I didn’t want to keep postponing my life – hoping for contentment ‘someday’
A contented life has:
- Time for what’s important in every ordinary day
- Deep connections with the people I’d ‘do time for’
- A set of rules that rock my world, not wreck my head
- Hope for the future, for myself and the world at large
- Clashing colours because who doesn’t love pink and orange together?
- The ‘knowing’ that people are amazing — that includes you and me
- An awareness that life is precious and brief and not to be spared or saved till later
- Things that can be left undone
- Brave decisions and follow-through even when we are scared
- The wisdom that someday is always in the future, which isn’t guaranteed
- Very few moments wasted on headwreck or regret.
Maybe you too have always been the ‘responsible’ one?
You see, I’d always been the one who got things done. I put others first, rarely said No, and hated to disappoint or let anyone down. I found it easier to get the job done, than to ask for help. But it meant I was often busy sorting other people’s problems and not having time for my own!
What I wanted most was:
To stop being everyone’s problem solver (while ignoring myself) and that I could live a life that had time to include me. I’d always known I wanted to be authentic, honest and real but my lifestyle and everyday choices meant I was compromising on these every single day.
I said my family mattered but in reality, they only got what was left of me at the end of a busy, draining day.
I knew that health was important but my own basic self-care (such as walking or yoga) often got skipped out of mum guilt because I wasn’t spending time with my little girl.
As a nurse, I’d held the hands of many as they left this world and I KNEW what really matters in the end. And yet, I was busy compromising, accommodating, tolerating and postponing all my wishes and dreams on the promise of ‘later,’ ‘next week,’ ‘on the holidays’ or ‘someday.’
And so, over months of turmoil, tantrums, and tears, I made some pretty big decisions that left me poorer financially, and richer in every other way.
I left my role in senior management to set up my holistic health clinic and have time for the things I’d been postponing — my health that can never be replaced, deep connections with those who mattered to me, and creating a life legacy that I’d be proud to someday leave behind.
And just in case that sounds like it was easy — it was NOT. Those few months of figuring stuff out and wondering if I was doing the right thing were terrifying (think vomit-inducing fear and you’re near it!). I wasn’t one of those types who believed ‘it would all work out’ and because I’m practical and pragmatic, I needed a plan. But I hadn’t done this before and knew no one who had, so I began to ask questions, find answers and create a path back to me.
I asked myself:
- How could I remember my boundaries, both at work and at home?
- What head-hacks were useful to manage the guilt when I took time for myself?
- In what situations did I tend to self-sabotage?
- How many ways could I learn to say No?
- Who were my energy drains and what could I do about them?
- Where did I replenish and restore quickly and with ease?
- When did I need to remember to stay back and stay quiet?
- What habits and unhelpful patterns got me into trouble every time?
- How could I restore my energy, my motivation and drive?
Someone on my side
I wish I’d had support back then from someone who knew my struggle and the bravery needed to follow through. Someone who’d be my listening ear, a sounding board, my safe space, an ally who believed in me and who could help me tease out the practical steps to help me create my new way. Ideally, it would have been someone who’d been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt and survived! Someone who’d understood the torment involved in making tough decisions, who could see when I was losing hope and knew when I needed a nudge.
My plan came together and continues to this day. I’d love to say it’s complete but that would be neither authentic or true. I’m continually updating and fine-tuning my way (#slowlearnersrock). And I’m lucky to say that although life still throws curveballs, there’s deep contentment in my every day.
And I’m no longer waiting for later, or maybe, or even someday.
Now I live a life where I have time for what’s important in my every day, instead of being always squashed into over-scheduled weekends and catch up moments here and there. Because Life is precious and short, and it would be a shame to be too busy or tired to notice, because I was problem solving for others, while neglecting my dreams.
These days, I am that someone by your side.
I work with clients who know there’s something more. Clients who know that it’s not just hormones that are leaving them feeling this way. Clients who want to have time and energy for what’s important (and it usually doesn’t require them to leave their job by the way). And because I’m practical and pragmatic, we also find solutions for your hormones too!
My work is unlike anyone else I know. I combine frank and honest questions with practical, real-life solutions. I cut through the fluff and BS to help you find your brave. Over thirty-five years experience across nursing, pharmaceuticals, complementary medicine, life coaching, NLP, mentoring and more means I use many different tools to help you find your energy, drive, hormonal balance and motivation again.
We find the most appropriate solutions for your hormones, energy levels and your health. But above all, I’m with you every step of the way with my Kindness and Kickass approach, and my Big-Hugs and Bum-Kicks reminders.
Because I believe it’s not too big an ask — a life that includes You.
Here’s what one client said:
“I genuinely mean that my work with Ashleigh has been life changing for me. If you want improvements in your energy levels, hormones, work / life balance and in your relationship with yourself, work with Ashleigh now.”
Is this you? Your life is busy, which is why you’ve been ignoring things but you know you need to take action now. It’s time to make what’s important to you in theory, translate into important every day – the health that can’t be bought, the relationships that matter and a life that’s aligned with your true values.