Some of us are ‘All or Nothing’ kind of people. It’s how we’ve always done it. It’s how we’ve succeeded in the past…AND it’s how we’ve failed in the past. None of that ‘Baby steps’ stuff – that’s just for wimps!
Like a comfy sweater, All or Nothing is familiar. It’s what we know, what we like, what we insist on; even when the evidence suggests that it mightn’t be the best way.
I have a friend who likes to ask a question: “What’s the evidence to back up that what you’re doing is the best course of action?” It always surprises me – you could say it stops me in my tracks when she poses that question.
You see, I’ll be intent on a particular course of action; on a particular way of doing things. I’ll be responding how I usually respond… I’ll be doing the things I usually do… And then I meet this question….
And I realise that perhaps I’ve been hunkered down on a plan, a route, a way of doing something. And the question allows me to look around and take in my environment, to notice what is actually happening, to feel the impact it’s having in my body, to notice for the signals that are always there but sometimes overlooked.
It allows me to notice my energy levels, my tiredness, my enthusiasm, my curiosity, my need for rest, support or space. It alows me to see the bigger picture so that I get to decide if its an ‘All or Nothing’ moment or a ‘Hold the Space’ one.
Because very often, the circumstances have changed and I didn’t notice. Its good to notice. Because then I notice that often there’s another option?
Its called the ‘A Good Fit for where I’m at Now’ option. It’s usually a place somewhere between ‘All or Nothing’ and ‘Baby Steps’; a place that’s not as hard and yet doesn’t feel as though I’ve failed; a place that feels much nicer to be in. And funny enough…. a place that somehow magically means that I progress further than with all the striving.
So let me ask you:
When’s the last time you checked to see how you’re really doing and if what you’re doing is a good fit for where you’re at today?