Maria was well dressed when she arrived for her appointment. I knew very little about her, other than she worked in a management role and had just come from her office to mine.
She appeared a little cautious and hesitant as we chatted about the easy stuff, like life after covid and getting back to the office, before settling in to talk about what was really bothering her most.
“Everyone thinks I’m on top of things but I’m just so damned tired.”
“I know I’m very organised and I deliver well at work. But these days, I feel worn out – physically, mentally, and deep down inside. At work, I spend my days sorting things for everyone else, while my own work backs up. Everyone tells me I do a great job, but lately, it feels like I’m drowning – in emails, text messages, phone calls and meetings. I used to be able to cope so much better but in the last while, I feel like screaming or running away so I can be on my own.”
Maria looked at me, with tears in her eyes and said: “I just don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I feel so tired – I’ve tried different supplements, but I still don’t feel like the old me. I always thought of myself as an optimist, but these days, I don’t have the energy to care.”
Maria is a problem solver – maybe you are too?
Perhaps you’re like Maria, the responsible one who gets things done. In the past, you’ve found it easier to get stuck in and get the problem sorted, instead of waiting for others who just talk about it. But this strategy can lead to a problem that can be hard to unwind – other people bring you their problems to solve!
“I keep thinking I should be able to cope better”
Over the course of our consultation, it became abundantly clear that Maria is kind and compassionate and goes out of her way to care for family, friends, and work colleagues. She admitted herself, that she doesn’t always give herself the same degree of compassion or kindness.
“I keep thinking I should be able to cope better, because overall, my life is good. I know I’m a hard taskmaster to myself at times. I try giving myself a good talking to, but my old strategies no longer work, and I worry I’ve lost my edge”
Do you have a mean internal critic?
Maria (like many women) had a mean inner critic who came out to play when her reserves were low. Maybe you too start second guessing yourself or you say mean things to yourself in the hope it will give you the ‘kick in the rear’ you feel you need. Responsible problem solvers are often very tough on themselves! But it’s not always the wisest strategy or what gets the best results.
Maria was relieved at the end of our first session as part of the Menopause Matters programme. We put in place simple, effective behaviour changes that would help her manage her boundaries, both at work and at home. She began a programme of homeopathic remedies to help with symptoms of brain fog, hot flushes, exhaustion, and stress. She finally got to arrange to have her bloods done to assess for physical causes (such as underactive thyroid or low Hgb) for the fatigue. And she knew that she’d have my support throughout the programme with resources to remind her to be kind to everyone, especially herself. I have no doubt that Maria will thrive on this programme because quite simply, it works!
Ashleigh Xxx
If Maria’s story resonates with you, check out the range of programmes I offer, regardless of your ‘age and stage’ hormonally. I’d love to help.